Grab a bucket: Nike continues to faceplant with hideous new NBA alternate jersey reveal

The NBA has become somewhat of a gimmicky league over the last decade and a half.

Between players forming super teams, in-season tournaments, and guys making vague posts about each other on social media for attention, I sometimes have to wonder if these are modern-day gladiators or if they're gearing up to make an appearance on "Real Housewives."

Another thing about the Association that really grinds my gears is the staggering number of "alternate jerseys" they seem to barf out every year.

I'm all for having a few different uniform combos to choose from, but the NBA seems to have taken one look at the Oregon Ducks' football team and said, "hold my beer."

Oregon’s Davon Benjamin and Brandon Finney Jr. celebrate after a play during a college football game against Boise State at Autzen Stadium on Sept. 5, 2026, in Eugene, Oregon. (Al Sermeno/ISI Photos/ISI Photos via Getty Images)

You've got throwback jerseys, "City Edition" jerseys, "Statement Edition" jerseys, and a bunch of others to choose from that would make a costume director on the set of a chick flick blush.

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That hasn't changed this season, either, as Nike decided to throw their hat in the ring and design a set of NBA jerseys deemed the "Spectre Edition" uniforms.

These are alternate jerseys for eight of the oldest teams in the league, and I can promise you that nothing will prepare you for how awful these look.

I say this without the slightest hint of hyperbole. These are some of the laziest pieces of trash I've ever seen for a jersey release, and that's saying something.

I've railed about bad college football uniforms in the past, but at least those had some effort put into them.

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These look like some Nike exec had a 90s screensaver app on his computer and said, "hey, I have an idea," as he started taking screenshots.

Sheesh, no wonder the once-powerful shoe and athletic apparel company is face planting as it ends its 18-year run in the S&P 100.

The patch in the card was on Flagg's jersey during his NBA debut on October 22, 2025 against the San Antonio Spurs. (Photo by Jesse D. Garrabrant/NBAE via Getty Images)

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Now, a lot of that has to do with their bizarre, far-left agenda that they seemingly insert into their ad campaigns, but the least they could do is be woke AND not produce a bunch of slapped together garbage.

And before you call me a boomer (guilty as charged) and say that I don't know what the kids are into these days (again, true), I would like to point out that I'm not alone.

These used elementary school paint smocks are being torched by every corner of the internet.

Absolutely brutal.

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Maybe if Nike spent less time shoving leftist talking points down everyone's throats and more time putting some thought into their jersey designs, we wouldn't have these monstrosities.

Nike has prominently featured Pride and LGBTQ messaging in its brand and corporate initiatives. (SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images)