As fertility rates fall, mums of three share joy and sacrifice of big families

Dian Winata returned to work just two weeks after the caesarean birth of her third child.

She only took one month off after the birth of her second child, who was also delivered by caesarean.

But that wasn't because Ms Winata couldn't wait to get back to her job. Financially, she didn't have a choice.

When her daughters were born, Ms Winata was not a permanent Australian resident, was not eligible for government-funded parental leave, and had used up her paid leave entitlements.

"If you ask why I could have three kids, it's because I love it," said Ms Winata, whose eldest child was born in Indonesia.

"And why could I work that much while having three kids? Because I needed to.

"My husband and I are not from a generation that inherited wealth. So we earned our own money and saved from scratch in Australia."

Ms Winata is among the women choosing to have bigger families at a time when Australia's fertility rates are falling.

It is a decision that comes with significant trade-offs, they say.

She and her husband, Steven Halim, both work full time to cover their mortgage and everyday living expenses for their 11-year-old son and two daughters, aged six and four.

Ms Winata works as an assistant service manager at an Adelaide childcare centre, where she receives a staff discount that helps to reduce childcare costs for her own children.

Her mother and mother-in-law travel from Indonesia to Australia every three months to help care for her children.

Before gaining permanent residency in 2024, they paid thousands of dollars for support services for their second daughter, who has autism.

They then became eligible for the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS), easing some of the financial pressure.

"What we sacrificed was the time we could have spent more with the kids, it had to be split with work,"

Ms Winata said.

"What used to be our rest time, we ended up spending playing with the kids instead."

Australia's population is "aging more quickly", according to Australia's 2026 Intergenerational Report published in September.

The total fertility rate in 2024 was 1.48 births per woman, according to data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics, which will release new figures in November.

The Intergenerational Report estimates that by 2065, the figure will fall further to 1.34 children per woman.

Australian National University demographer Liz Allen said some people might be having fewer children than they wanted because their choices were "constrained".

"Having children has become so difficult because the social, economic and cultural supports are inhospitable to having a much-wanted child,"

Dr Allen said.

The 'motherhood penalty'

Lauren Treweek chose to have three children because she grew up with one brother and lots of cousins, so family events were "busy and noisy" and felt "special".

Her decision was also about finding joy.

"Each child that you have not only gives you a new little person to get excited about and to learn about, but it also gives you different experiences that you yourself can find joy in as well," Ms Treweek said.

But being a mother has also come with trade-offs.

Three children came with bigger financial pressures, such as "hideously expensive" child care, she said.

The Melbourne-based mum, who also co-hosts a parenting podcast, said motherhood had impacted her marketing career.

"Part of me is happy to sacrifice maybe not progressing as quickly as I thought I would in order to have a greater level of flexibility to do pick-ups and drop-offs, or be available for a sick day if needed," she said.

Ms Treweek said that career setbacks were "undeniable" and part of what she described as the "motherhood penalty".

The motherhood penalty refers to "the negative consequences women experience in the workplace due to being a mother", said Sandra Buchler, who holds a PhD in sociology from The University of Queensland.

Dr Buchler, a fellow at the Australian Research Council Centre of Excellence for Children and Families Over the Life Course, said while decisions about having children were personal and shaped by many factors, for some women, having more children could mean slower career progression.

It could also mean lower earnings and less retirement savings because of longer parental leave, part-time work or more time spent caring, she said.

Women's earnings fall by an average of 55 per cent in the first five years after becoming a parent while men's are unchanged, according to a 2023 Treasury report.

'It's a sacrifice I chose'

For Paula Gaziero, a stay-at-home mum with three sons aged five, three and four months, returning to paid work is not a priority.

"I think this is the most important work I could be doing. I am raising little humans," the 29-year-old said.

Before having children, Ms Gaziero worked in hospitality and administration and had hoped to pursue a career in accounting.

"It is a sacrifice, but it's a sacrifice I chose," she said, adding "this is not forever".

Ms Gaziero said her family did not do "very expensive things" and had to make sacrifices compared to families with two working parents.

Ms Gaziero also homeschools her eldest son and said staying at home meant the family did not have childcare costs.

Her young family is fortunate to be able to live at her husband's grandmother's acreage property in Queensland, so they do not have to pay rent.

Ms Gaziero said Australia was "very blessed to have free health care", and that had been one of the biggest factors in her decision to have multiple children.

She and her husband, Ben Spiers, were yet to decide if they would expand their family to welcome a fourth child, she added.

"They're not going to want me forever," she said.

"In a blink of an eye, they will be teenagers going about their day, and then I can focus on my career.

"It's a season, and it's a beautiful season, and I want to enjoy the most of it."