How to manage low self-esteem

By now, you’ve probably heard about El Niño, a natural climate phenomenon that occurs when sea-surface temperatures in the central and eastern tropical Pacific Ocean warm above normal.

The heat is becoming intense, please, stay hydrated all the time.

This week, we shall be looking into low self esteem but before then, let us see what self esteem is.

Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves. The concept of self-esteem has its origins in the 18th century, first expressed in the writings of the Scottish enlightenment thinker, David Hume.

Hume posits that it is important to value and think well of oneself because it serves a motivational function that enables people to explore their full potential.

Milton’s Paradise Lost includes the line that “nothing profits more than self-esteem.”

When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about life in general. It makes us better able to deal with life’s ups and downs.

When our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a more negative and critical light. We also feel less able to take on the challenges that life throws at us.

Everyone has moments of doubt about who they are and what they’ve achieved. You may do or say something that makes you temporarily ashamed of or annoyed with yourself.

Those temporary or periodic feelings are not the same as low self-esteem. Low self-esteem refers to long-term negativity about who you are and how you show up in the world. These negative feelings can be persistent and hard to challenge.

For example, if someone compliments you, you may not believe them. If you achieve a goal, you may not allow yourself to take credit for it.

Some characteristics of low self-esteem may include that you may: not like yourself very much, assume that others don’t like you because you’re unlikeable or damaged, think of yourself as unlovable or unworthy of love.

Feelings of self-esteem can change over time by newly manifesting or coming back in adulthood. You may do something or have something done to you that lowers your opinion of yourself at any point during your life.

Potential causes of low self-esteem during childhood and adolescence include:

Experiencing ongoing harsh criticism from authority figures, such as parents or teachers

Being raised by emotionally distant parents or caregivers

• Women journalists trained to navigate threats, safeguard well-being
• Maybe the heart is protecting itself
• The stone in Godswill Akpabio’s heart (2)

Going through childhood trauma, such as parental divorce or sexual abuse

Having trouble keeping up at school

Having a physical or mental disability

Feeling less attractive than the ideal image portrayed in social media

Characteristics of people with low self-esteem include:

Having self-deprecating internal conversations with yourself (negative self-talk), comparing yourself negatively to others, ignoring your achievements or not believing you are responsible for them, blaming yourself for circumstances beyond your control, not accepting or believing compliments, avoiding challenges or goal setting, thinking you don’t deserve happiness, love, or fun, not handling criticism well, feeling shame and worthlessness and focusing too much on physical characteristics, such as weight and height.

What effect can low self-esteem have on your health?

Having bad feelings about yourself can lead to an increase in anxiety and depression. This can cause self-isolation and poor quality of life. It may also increase the risk of self-harming behaviours such as cutting, substance misuse, and suicide.

A 2019 study on secondary students in Vietnam found an association between low self-esteem and anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. Educational stress and emotional abuse by parents or other adults were risk factors for these feelings.

Low self-esteem has also been linked to disordered eating, according to a 2021 study.

Let us look at ways to build self-esteem:

1. Let go of the past.
2. Recognise situations that deflate your self-esteem and notice your thoughts about them. This includes what you tell yourself, also known as self-talk, and how you view the situations.

Your thoughts and beliefs might be positive, negative or neutral. They might be rational, based on reason or facts. Or they may be irrational, based on false ideas. Ask yourself if these beliefs are true. Would you say them to a friend? If you wouldn’t say them to someone else, don’t say them to yourself.

3. Say positive things to yourself. Some people like to do this in front of a mirror. It can feel strange at first, but you may feel more comfortable the more you do it. It can help if you say things you can believe. For example, “I’m doing my best” or “My mistakes help me grow.” These are called ‘affirmations.’ Over time, they can help train your thoughts to be kinder.
4. Adjust your thoughts and beliefs. Replace negative or untrue thoughts with positive, accurate thoughts.

5.Celebrate your successes. No matter how small they may seem, take time to praise yourself.

6. Write a list of things you like about yourself. They don’t have to be perfect. They can just be things that are OK. For example, a skill you’ve learnt, a way you help other people or an interest you have. Put this list somewhere you’ll see it every day.
7. Ask people to share what they like about you. They may recognise things that you don’t think about yourself.
8. Find out what you like. It can be helpful to write what you do each day in a journal. Note how much you enjoy each thing and if you feel a sense of achievement. This can help you choose activities that make you feel good.
9. Avoid comparing yourself to others. For example, it might help to limit how much time you spend on social media or online communities. What other people often choose to share about their lives isn’t always the full picture.
10. Try volunteering. You might decide to volunteer your time for something you feel passionate about.
11. You could try a new hobby or creative activity. Or reading a book about a new subject.
12. Setting small goals can help things feel more manageable and give you a greater sense of achievement.

13.Try to get enough sleep. Too little or too much sleep can have a negative impact on how you feel.

14. Eat a healthy diet.
15. Being physically active can help your mental wellbeing. Which may help improve your self-esteem.
16. Spend time outside. Being in green space can often help how you feel.
17. Avoid recreational drugs and alcohol. While these might feel like they help you cope in the short term, they can make you feel worse in the long run. And they can prevent you from dealing with underlying problems.
18. Sign up to a self-help programme to help with your self-esteem.
19. Utilise stress reduction techniques such as deep breathing.
20. Socialise with people you trust.

A study titled Low Self-Esteem and Its Association with Anxiety, Depression, and Suicidal Ideation in Vietnamese Secondary School Students: A Cross-Sectional Study by Dat Tan Nguyen et al. concludes that low self-esteem is associated with anxiety, depression and academic stress, which significantly affect students’ quality of life and are linked to suicidal ideation.