Reactions trail viral clip on happy marriages

Reaction has trailed a viral clip on social media where a man declared that he has never encountered anyone who is genuinely happily married.

In a video shared on Instagram by @nonsentimentworld, the speaker questioned the concept of marital bliss, stating that personal observations left him unconvinced that happy marriages exist.

The speaker said, “I have never seen a happy married man in my life. I have sat down with married men, and I have friends who are married, but I have never seen a happy married man. I’m not talking about newly married men, but those who have been married for more than three years.

“It is either their wives deprive them of sex, their wives want to kill them with mood swings or attitude because of financial inability, or their wives are cheating on them.

“Many of these married men are either miserable or pretending to be happy,” he added. “They are ashamed of discussing their marital issues. Their wives have turned their kids against them and their in-laws are frustrating them.

“As a man, if you decide to marry with the types of women out there, I’m sure that you will be among the miserable men, especially if you are not financially stable. These women don’t really care about you; all they care about is men who will always be giving them money.”

The clip drew varied reactions online, with some users recounting unhappy marital experiences and others arguing that contented couples rarely publicize their personal lives online.

Commenting on the post, an Instagram user, @Bruno_talks, wrote, “I have three kids, I feel like running away. I have not had sex for three months, and I don’t even want to touch her.”

Another user, @latebloomers818, wrote, “I pretend I am happily married as most men do because no one wants to own up to the fact that he has screwed up. You don’t even need to argue about it. Take a close look at married couples in churches and public gatherings and believe what you notice because it is obvious.”

Similarly, @Blessed_firstson attributed his marital challenges to economic pressures.

“Married for five years now and blessed with three kids,” he wrote. “It is not that I’m not happy, just that bills want to kill me.”

However, other users countered the claim, maintaining that fulfilling marriages exist.

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An Instagram user, @Tokscube, wrote, “I’m happily married, and I have been married for 16 years.”

Another user, @Yeenkah, added, “I have been married for six years, and my wife and I are very happy in our marriage.”

Reactions were also gathered from experts on marital relations.

Speaking with Saturday PUNCH, a marriage counselor and founder of Help for the Family Ministry, Pastor Dayo St. John dismissed the viral claim as false, stating that marital satisfaction depends largely on the effort invested by both partners.

“It’s a lie that there is no man who is happy in marriage. I’m enjoying marriage,” St. John said. “Although there are many people, man or woman, that are struggling in marriage, that does not mean that there is no happy marriage. I’m happy in marriage, and there are many that I know like that.”

He noted that many individuals enter marriage for wrong motives or with incompatible partners while expecting their spouses to be solely responsible for their joy.

“As a man, if your happiness or joy in marriage is dependent on any human being, including your spouse, you will wait for long,” he added. “Only God is the source of joy and happiness in marriage.”

Similarly, a Professor of Old Testament Studies and Marriage and Family Counselling at Benue State University, Emmanuel Usue, cited his 36-year marriage and professional experience in refuting the claim.

“I have been married for the past 36 years and I am remaining with my wife. We still laugh, we crack jokes, and we still do so many things together,” Usue said. “So, I think the thinking that there is no happy man in marriage is not correct.”

He noted, however, that marriages face various strains, adding that success requires cooperation, effective communication, and conflict resolution.

Usue listed poor financial management, infertility, poor communication, inability to resolve disputes, external interference, substance abuse, and extramarital affairs among common sources of marital tension.